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Friday, September 11, 2009

10 Weeks

I don't want to bore you with a continuous countdown of my quitting smoking but it is such a big thing in my life. In many ways it takes over everything I do, and the way I do it as well.

I'm not sure if this will work but this is my smoke'meter'. I'm going to post it in my sidebar too to keep track of my time without the 'Nicodemon'. (okay, nope didn't work. Hopefully it will work in the sidebar. It's a cool thing because it shows money saved too.) EDIT: Perfect, it is above the main posts here as a permanent leader. That works.

I'm in a good, and yet slightly dangerous spot in my 'quit'. I'm at a place where I no longer think about actually smoking a cigarette anymore. I don't even want to. That sounds good, and it is in many ways but in some ways it allows me to put my guard down a bit too. This is dangerous because although my cravings are no longer there, the after effects of years of a smoke clouded mind are still very strong. I have trouble concentrating and there are moments of depression and anxiety that are not normal for me. I am having trouble working which is more a matter of not having any motiviation or desire to do the work than it is inability to actually do it.

This is a dangerous and tricky time and I need to keep talking about it in order to remind myself that I still have a ways to go--it's not a clear sail just yet.

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